Grief in Paradise

A number of people mentioned that they had missed reading my blog when I attended the UK Annual Gathering of The Compassionate Friends in early November. Hearing this, I resolved to try and write something again soon. I knew it would be beneficial. I have let many of the tools that I know help drift;…

The Power of Gratitude

"When did you last write something for your blog?" Ralph asked me a couple of months or so ago. "It's been a while" I answered knowing that I hadn't written anything since just after Christmas last year. "Perhaps its run it's course" he had said, "perhaps you don't need to do it anymore", "No" I…

25 Days of Christmas

Last year, and perhaps unusually for a recently bereaved parent, I grasped at Christmas, seeing it as a much-needed escape from the unbearable pain I was feeling. The human brain is programmed for survival, and always a big fan of the festive season, I think my mind saw an opportunity to breathe out, if only for…

Finding my tribe…

"I'm not going to write about this weekend", I said to the lady from Lincolnshire as we watched the candles flicker in front of the hotel steps at The Compassionate Friends annual gathering earlier this month. "I need to write about mine and Ralph's trip to New York" I explained. But, I also explained to…

The last of the firsts….

It's October 8th, the leaves are falling and all of the "firsts" have now been ticked off bar one, the anniversary of the balloon release I did with the children, her friends. One day in late October 2016 we released pink balloons in the park behind our house just a couple of weeks or so after the celebration of her…

Lost at Sea

Before setting sail for our recent cruise in the Mediterranean and the Adriatic, I mentally planned a blog post. I packed my portable bluetooth keyboard, envisaging that I would buy wifi on the sea days and find a quiet spot and write, just as I had done during our week in Spain earlier in the…

Other People’s Pain, Other People’s Joy…….

On Thursday morning last week I woke up with an intense pain in my chest. It caused me to hug Phoebe's reindeer which I've taken to bed for comfort for months now, tighter, desperately wishing for the pain to subside. I knew I would have to take things slowly, breathe deeply and just accept that it wouldn't be possible to…

10K in Manchester

On the Sunday after our break in Spain, the 28th May 2017,  I ran the Manchester 10k. I completed the course in 1 hour 8 minutes and 2 seconds, almost 2 minutes faster than I had done when Ralph had taken me out for a practise 10k a couple of weeks earlier and as this…

Escape to the Sun

Back in February Ralph asked me if I wanted to take a short break in Spain towards the end of May. We had been invited to join some friends to share an apartment and it wouldn't cost us any more than a budget airfare each. We'd go Monday to Friday so that it wouldn't impact…

What Lies Beneath

So after weeks of keeping it together, I cried at work........ The mask slipped and a glimpse of what lies beneath was laid bare for all to see and I felt exposed and anxious. A simple picture of a Minion with a Chiquita banana in a presentation triggered memories of Phoebe all dressed up in a…