I hadn’t intended to write about New Year, I thought I’d covered it when I wrote about how I felt about and got through Christmas and how I was looking positively towards 2017 with determination and as much positivity as I could muster. I had planned that my next piece would be all about how … More Happy New Year?
Over the last month, in the run up to Christmas, I have felt a whole range of emotions: emptiness, immense sadness, pain and some hope, but this month in particular I have quite often felt like I am going crazy, that I am somewhat mad. Why? Because I have looked forward to Christmas, crossing my … More Santa Please Stop Here
“How old is Phoebe, she’s 3 isn’t she?” I remember the consultant asking, just after we had been moved to HDU that day in September. “No” I replied “She’s 4, she’ll be 5 in December”…… Five in December, I spoke so easily in the future tense, we do don’t we especially when it comes to … More Happy Birthday Phoebe
On Sunday , 11th December, The Compassionate Friends held their annual Worldwide Candle Lighting. Bereaved parents all over the world lit candles at 7pm in memory of their lost sons & daughters. The charity also organises public ceremonies, one of which I attended at Bolton Parish Church, Lancashire. It was a beautiful, emotional but also comforting experience. Everyone … More Never Forget
It was Ralph’s birthday last weekend. I knew it would be hard. The best bit of birthdays since having Phoebe was her getting in bed in between us in the morning to help us open our cards. Phoebe snuggling in was actually something Ralph enjoyed every morning. Before they got dressed they always shared a Peppa … More The Hollow Man & The Angry Woman
Last week was a very difficult week, for me, perhaps the most difficult since we lost Phoebe. I have been overwhelmed by my emotions. They have quite literally paralyzed me, every little task has felt enormous and it has taken some time to even try to make sense of my feelings and thoughts let alone feel up … More Heroes and Villains
Ralph and I spent the weekend in Blackpool. As the international home of Ballroom & Latin dancing it’s a significant place to us. We met through dancing and as a competitive Senior Latin couple we had competed many times at various competitions held in the famous Winter Gardens Ballroom, including the British National Championships held … More No Escape
This week marks the two month anniversary of Phoebe’s death. Two whole months since we lost our beautiful girl, late in the evening 17th September 2016. Where has the time gone? About a month after the funeral, a friend asked me did it feel like alot of time had passed, “no” I said instinctively “it feels like … More Forever September